Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Journey's end

I’ve always worked best with deadlines so I guess it’s fitting for me that my first (and last) post to this blog is just after our Nov. 15th “deadline” for making a decision about adoption. As some of you already know, and others of you have probably surmised, we’ve decided not to pursue adoption.

It’s been several months since I first told Betsy that I wanted to have another child. We knew if we were going to have another, we would be adopting, so I asked her to start the process. She did a great job, and her growing joy added to my desire as we planned for our new arrival. But at the same time, we began a process of “discernment”—seeking God’s wisdom on all the many decisions involved with adoption. We asked God to guide us and asked you guys for your prayers and support.

As Betsy said earlier in this blog, we asked God to show us what to do, and He answered by showing us more about Himself. We’ve learned more about ourselves, our kids, and our work along the way, too. In the end, I don’t think God ever told us “yes” or “no” about adoption. He just gave us the information we needed to make the decision. So, based on everything we’ve learned, I decided adoption isn’t for us, at least not for now and maybe not ever.

I have mixed feelings about all this. I’m sad when I think about one less kid around the Christmas tree. I’m sad when I think about fewer potential grandchildren (Yes, I know I am only 33 and my kids are 6 and 4 but I still dream about grandkids). But I’m grateful for God’s gentle and generous revelation of Himself to us in this process. I’m excited about the freedom that comes with having older kids. I’m already thinking about summer trips to the UK with the whole family to visit our friends from seminary.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. We are truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. And a million thanks to my precious wife, who has been so patient and gracious throughout this journey. I’ve learned so much from watching and listening to her during this time.

All my love,

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