Sunday, September 28, 2008

Wait for it...wait for it...

Hi everyone!

Well, I thought I'd give another update, though there's not too much action to tell about. Here's where we are right now as a family:

• Our first-choice agency has said, "Call us when you're ready; we'd love to have you." (This agency happens to be in the same city where my husband is currently being considered for a teaching position, for whatever that's worth.)

• We are both feeling like God has got us in somewhat of a "holding pattern," to use a term my dad used to use and that I vaguely understand as having something to do with airplanes. But anyway, we're waiting on more guidance, or more assurance, or more peace, or more something. We don't exactly know what we're waiting on, to tell you the truth. But that November 15th date does seem to mean something.

Sorry I don't have more news, but most of the action is taking place inside of us, as we're learning is a very practical way to trust the Lord and wait on Him to work on our behalf.

There was something that happened the other day that caused me to look at this whole situation in a different light. I was talking to a friend about how frustrated she was that her boyfriend wasn't acting the way she wanted, that he wasn't treating her the way she wanted to be treated. I realized as I was listening to her a little more about what the Bible means about the Lord giving us the desires of our hearts. I had learned this before through a sermon on Andy Stanley's podcast (recommended), but it made more sense as I listened to my friend's complaint.

The thing she wanted from her boyfriend was a certain action. It wasn't a particularly complicated action, and there wasn't anything fundamentally sinful about the fact that he wasn't doing the action. But as I listened, I realized that what my friend really wanted was to have a deep need met. She wanted to feel loved and valued. That is her true desire; that is the desire of her heart, the desire that God has promised to fulfill.

God won't necessarily change her boyfriend's behavior, but He does promise to fill that need in my friend, if she will let Him do it His way. If she insists that only by a change in her boyfriend's behavior will she allow the need to be filled, then it might never be filled. Because God hasn't promised to fulfill the desire of the situation, but the deeper, permanent, God-given desires of her heart.

This same lesson is being learned in my heart through this adoption process. I'm feeling led to really search my heart and learn what it is that I desire. Will I trust that God will fill these needs His way, in His time? Or will I insist that this situation change (that I adopt another child) in order for my deep desires to be met? God knows what it is I long for, and He can fill me up, if I choose to "delight myself in Him" and "commit my way to Him," which are prerequisites for my deep heart desires to be met.

So during this time of waiting, I am being led to delight in Him and commit my ways to Him, waiting on Him to make clear my path to fulfillment.

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